Kingdom  Daughter's  International         


  To God Be The Glory!                               
  Every Wise Woman Buildeth Her House...             

Kingdom Daughters International
38872 Albert
Clinton Township, MI 48036
United States

Proverbs 14:1

      

 

  • A Wise Woman Buildeth Her House!

     

    I know a woman who had a house built by Habitat for Humanity.

    In order to qualify for this charitable organization's assistance, the woman had to commit at least 400 hours of service. For months, she spent every moment of her spare time helping the construction workers build her new home. When the house was completed, she had a feeling of great joy and a sense of accomplishment.

    A dedication service was planned for a Sunday afternoon. Surrounded by family and friends, the woman listened reverently as the preacher blessed the house and those who would soon occupy it. Tears glistened her eyes as she contemplated the joy of finally having a home of her own. Can you imagine how people would feel if this woman suddenly drove a bulldozer into the house and knocked it down, after all the hard work she put into building it? That would be a very foolish thing to do!

    Proverbs 14:1 says, "The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands." No woman in her right mind would deliberately tear down her house, but what about her home? Many children today are the victims of "broken homes." According to research compiled by George Barna, over one million divorces are granted each year, compared to 393,000 divorces granted in 1960. Surprisingly, at least 16% of the divorced population consider themselves "evangelical Christians."

    Even families who choose to stay together for the sake of the children are often characterized by constant bickering, disagreements and tension. Although they live together in the same house, they are still very much a fragmented family. How can a wise woman build her house and not tear it down?

    First, she builds her home by the attitude that she shows. A wise woman chooses to have a positive attitude, even in the midst of trying circumstances. In our war-torn world, it is easy to become fearful of what the future holds for our children. We need to do our best to be optimistic and not succumb to feelings of depression, fear and worry.

    Women are often referred to as the "climate controllers" of the family. If we are to be the thermostats for the family, we should generate a feeling of warmth. Home should be a place where the family can have fun. There are lots of things we can do to make our family life enjoyable. On one stormy evening, our family had a picnic in the basement. We sat on a blanket, eating hotdogs and cookies. Use your imagination. Do things out of the ordinary sometimes. It's not easy to be positive all the time, but remember the words of Paul in Philippians 4:8, "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy, meditate on these things."

    Second, a wise woman builds her home by the words that she speaks. Proverbs 31:26 says, "She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness." A woman who continually nags, argues, criticizes or complains is very foolish. Solomon calls such a person a "contentious woman." He wrote, "It is better to dwell in the corner of a housetop than in a house shared with a contentious woman" (Proverbs 21:9). A man whose wife went away for two weeks was asked if he missed her. "No, I don't miss her at all," he replied. "I've got some peace and quiet now." That may be a typical male response, but it shows that women need to watch their words. It's not always WHAT you say, but the WAY you say it that can cause offense. We need to watch not only our words, but our tone and volume of voice.

    The foolish woman says things like, "You're so stupid. Why can't you do anything right? You'll never amount to anything." The wise woman says things like, "You did a great job! I really appreciate you. I don't know what I would do without you." Negative words can hurt and discourage others, while affirmative words can be powerful and life-changing. The wise woman will choose words that will build others up, not tear them down.

    Third, a wise woman builds her home by the example that she sets. She knows that the secret to a good marriage is found in Ephesians 5:33. "Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." Many marriages today are failing because the wife refuses to show respect for her husband.

    Wives are to be submissive to their husbands. In no way does this imply that wives are inferior to their husbands. God gives the proper order in 1 Corinthians 11:3. "But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God." The woman is under the authority of the man, who is under the authority of Christ, who is under the authority of God. The woman is not inferior to the man, just as Christ is not inferior to God. As women, we need to maintain the order that God has established. He has appointed the man to be the head of the home.

    A woman who belittles her husband in front of the children is not setting a good example. Children learn from what we tell them and try to teach them, but they learn even more from what they see us do. A woman who shows disrespect to her husband is actually teaching her children be disrespectful. The children may grow up and become verbally abusive to their own spouses. Even the little choices we make now in our homes can affect future generations. Do we want our children to have the same kind of marriage that we have? If not, it may be time to make some changes.

    A Christian husband and father told a friend about an incident that happened in his home, involving himself and his ten year old daughter. The young girl was yelling at her father, calling him names and telling him what to do. The friend was shocked. He asked the father, "Did your wife hear what your daughter said?" "Oh yes," the man sighed. "She heard it. She just smiled."

    The wife in that family was very foolish. Even without saying a word, she was condoning the actions of her daughter, and setting a bad example. Any kind of disrespect in the family should not be tolerated, whether it is directed toward the father, mother or siblings. It takes time and hard work to build a house, but it can be demolished in just a few minutes. It takes wisdom and love to build our homes. Solomon said in Proverbs 19:14, "Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the Lord."Image

  • The study of  "Marriage"

 

National Vital Statistics Reports                                                      Number of marriages: 2,230,000                                                                                          bullet graphicMarriage rate: 7.5 per 1,000 total population                                                                           bullet graphicDivorce rate: 3.6 per 1,000 population (46 reporting States and D.C.)                                 

Eph. 5:23-32

For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of his body, the church; he gave his life to be her Savior. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives must submit to your husbands in everything. And you husbands must love your wives with the same love Christ showed the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by baptism and God's word. He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man is actually loving himself when he loves his wife. No one hates his own body but lovingly cares for it, just as Christ cares for his body, which is the church. And we are his body.

As the Scriptures say, "A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one." This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. (NLT)

The picture of marriage expands into something much broader, with the husband and wife relationship illustrating the relationship between Christ and the church. Husbands are urged to lay down their lives in sacrificial love and protection. And in this safe and cherished embrace of a loving husband, what wife would not be willing to submit to his leadership?

What Does the Bible Say?
• Husbands - love and sacrifice.
• Wives - submit.

 

How to Keep Your Christian Marriage Strong and Healthy

Step 1 - Pray Together:

Set aside time each day to pray with your spouse.

My husband and I have found that first thing in the morning is the best time for us. We ask God to fill us with His Holy Spirit and give us strength for the day ahead. It brings us closer together as we care for each other every day. We think about what the day ahead holds for our partner. Our loving affection goes beyond the physical realm to the emotional and spiritual realm. This develops true intimacy with each other, and with God.

Perhaps a better time for you as a couple might be just before you go to bed each night. It's impossible to fall asleep angry when you've just held hands together in God's presence.

Tip:
Learn these basics to prayer.

Step 2 - Read Together:

Set aside time each day, or at least once a week, to read the Bible together.

This might also be described as a time of devotions. About five years ago my husband and I began setting aside time each weekday morning to read the Bible and pray together, for a couple's devotional. We read to each other, either from the Bible, or from a devotional book, and then we spend a few minutes in prayer together. We've had to commit to rising from sleep about 30 minutes earlier in order to do this, but it's been a  wonderful, intimate time of strengthening our marriage. It took 2 1/2 years, but what a sense of accomplishment we felt when we realized we had read through the entire Bible together!

Tip:
Find out how spending time with God can enrich your life.

Step 3 - Make Decisions Together:

Commit to making important decision together.

I'm not talking about deciding on what to eat for dinner. Major decisions, like financial ones, are best decided as a couple. One of the greatest areas of strain in a marriage is the area of finances. As a couple you should discuss your finances on a regular basis, even if one of you is better at handling the practical aspects, like paying the bills and balancing the check book. Spending secrets will drive a wedge between you faster than anything else.

If you agree to come to mutual decisions on how the finances are handled, this will strengthen trust between you and your partner. Also, you won't be able to keep secrets from each other if you commit to making all important family decisions together. This is one of the best ways to develop trust as a couple.

Tip:
Check out these top 8 books about marriage.

Step 4 - Attend Church Together:

Get involved in a church together.

Find a place of worship where you and your spouse will not only attend together, but enjoy areas of mutual interest, such as serving in a ministry and making Christian friends together. The Bible says in Hebrews 10:24-25, that one of the best ways we can stir up love and encourage good deeds is by remaining faithful to the Body of Christ by meeting together regularly as believers.

Tip:
Discover practical advice on finding a church.

Step 5 - Continue Dating:

Set aside special, regular times to continue developing your romance.

Once married, couples often neglect the area of romance, especially after the kids come along. Continuing a dating life may take some strategic planning on your part as a couple, but it is vital to maintaining a secure and intimate marriage. Keeping the romance alive will also be a bold testimony to the strength of your Christian marriage.

Tip:
Consider these great ways to say "I love you."

Conclusion:

These 5 steps require real, committed effort on your part. Falling in love may have been effortless, but building your Christian marriage and keeping it strong, does require work. However, the blessings and rewards of that effort are priceless and immeasurable.

Tip:
Find out what the Bible says about marriage.

 

Different Yet Equal

Some readers will quit right here. After all, "husbands taking the authoritative lead in marriage" and "wives submitting" are not popular messages in today's world!

But this illustration of marriage typifying the relationship between Christ and the church adds further encouragement for wives to submit to their husbands, even those who don't follow Christ. Although this is a difficult challenge, the verse promises that her godly character and inward beauty will win over her husband more effectively than words.

If we're not careful, we will miss that these verses highlight the equal partnership of husbands and wives in God's gift of new life. Though the husband exercises the role of authority and leadership, and the wife fulfills a role of submission, both are equal heirs in God's kingdom. The roles are different, but equally important.

What Does the Bible Say?
• Wives - demonstrate godly character and quiet inner beauty.                                                  • Husbands - honor their wives and be kind and gentle.
• Husands and wives are equal partners.                                                                     Outcome1 Corinthians 7:1-2... It is good for a man not to marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband.(NIV)

 

This verse suggests that it is better not to marry. Those in difficult marriages would quickly agree! Throughout history it has been believed that a deeper commitment to spirituality can be achieved through a devoted life of celibacy.

Clearly this verse refers to immorality in sexual relations. In other words, it is better to marry than to be sexually immoral. But if we elaborate the meaning to incorporate all forms of immorality, we could easily include self-centeredness, greed, wanting to control, hatred, and all of the issues that surface when we enter into an intimate relationship.

Could one of the deeper purposes of marriage be to make us confront our own character flaws, the behaviors and attitudes we would never have seen nor faced otherwise? If we allow the challenges of marriage to force us to confront ourselves, we will be applying a spiritual discipline of tremendous value.

What Does the Bible Say?
• Strive to overcome immoral living.

I believe God designed marriage as an instrument to make us more like Christ. In his book, Sacred Marriage, Gary Thomas asks this question, "What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?" Is it possible that there is something much more profound in the heart of God than simply to make us happy?

 

 

Kingdom Daughters International
38872 Albert
Clinton Township, MI 48036
United States